no mccain, no palin, no sellout

Q: So, ugh, Nick... I can’t help comment on how much US election coverage you’ve been watching on TV. What up with that?

A: It’s the best TV show of all-time. I think after it’s over I’m going to stay away from the TV outside of Habhours, which is why we have cable to begin with... like in homage to it, however it ends.

Q: How will it end?

A: I think Obama is going to win. I also thought Kerry was going to win, and so did he if he believed CNN’s super-flawed election-day exit polls, which had him winning Ohio by three or four points. And EVERYONE thought Gore was going to win. What’s more exciting this time is I think I might be backing a winner, which is exciting not in terms of personal satisfaction, but, like... FOR the world. Chomsky says that every american President since Kennedy could be hanged for war-crimes if the international system functioned fairly, and its so exciting thinking that Chomsky wouldn’t have anything to write about the war-crimes of Barack Hussein Obama... Biden, maybe... but not Obama.

Q: So you want him to win.

A: I also believe he will win, but mostly because I was MSNBC almost exclusively, and the polls they source have him up low teens in tons of states. CNN makes it seem close sometimes, always playing the meaningless 49-47 +-4% overall vote poll, which of course is not how the decision is made. What the fuck do i know, I’ve been to at least 40 stump speeches from my aqua and pink loveseat. I don’t even know any americans. If Obama loses it will be the biggest bummer ever, a catastrophic aura collapse, a Great disturbance in the force. Not the bring beginning of a new future, but the latest, loudest ringing CLANG of the jailer’s baton teasing petulantly from behind greasy bars.

Q: That’s heavy man. You’re freaking me out.

A: It’s true. Shitty-ness and bad-vibes will be in the air for days, bad electricity in the air. Another good reason to avoid the television once it’s over: because everything will either be in a) good hands or b) too gruesome to watch. No need to see the away team run up the score, especially if you’re only cheering for the HomeTeam for hope... not as a real agent, with a real stake in the outcome. Sure, the President is the most important person on earth, but that’s a real bummer... I think even Obama would privately admit that, or at least i hope he would. But the fact of the matter is it’s just ONE election, and there’s a long legacy—in fact, perhaps the whole of US history—of oppression and aggression in America’s history and I don’t see how that can be changed without radically altering the “american way of life,” which is beyond contemplation, post-rational as rachel maddow would say.

Q: Okay, so why are you even watching?
A: It’s great TV, truly. They put tons of effort into it, everyone, and i’m always watching with very suspicious eyes, so it’s entertaining. It’s the real american idol, where one person becomes History and the other might become a Trivial Pursuit question, or Jeapordy! clue, in the year 2025 or beyond. An ironic t-shirt for the hipsters of the future: a faux-warhol portrain with “Joe the plummer” or “Yes we can.”

Q: That’s disgusting. What else do you see in your awful black mirror?
A: I’m just really zoned in on the five days... day six is election day. I really enjoy watching live TV and us presidential election day is THE DAY. Better than the olympics, it’s almost become a Civil Rights Bloodsport jamboree, in 538 arenas at once. Complete brutality, long lines are always of black people. Meanwhile the malls in the gated communities not only have double the machines, but they are newer, quicker machines, gilded in bronze and chrome and servicing a community of 2500. meanwhile the paper ballots—which fall apart sometimes before they can be counted—are handed out in major urban areas: atlanta, chicago, muthafucking LA? Bullshit. It makes it extra nice to cheer for a candidate who’s a real winner, on the inside, someone who seemingly wants to do GOOD for america, instead of being a good President. No one was passionate for boring ol’ John The Kerry, my friends.

Q: So what’s on TV?
A: It’s over, really, the election. Something like ¼ to 1/3 of the votes have already been cast, apparently, so everyone is on holding pattern until Tuesday. It’s all about Tuesday now, no one really takes McCain seriously, no one being Everyone who works for either CNN or MSNBC... talking heads and pollsters appear to clarify McCain talking points. All the McCain coverage is talking about the McCain campaign, the actual corporeal campaign itself, not the ideas McCain supposedly has somewhere. All the Obama coverage is about The Future. Still, I’m so very, very concerned that the bubble will burst on the fourth, and Obama will lose somehow.

Q: Is that even possible, at this point?
A: I hope not, but I think it might be. What if the call went out to RNC hardcores to tell republicans to lie to pollsters, to throw Obama of the scent, so McCain can come around with a backdoor sneak-a-roo, keep the Bush red states which everyone is calling Lean to Obama minus Michigan, and take OH, FLA and penn for the win. “There is no paranoid.” I guess the most exciting part of the election, and maybe always was, since way back in late January when Obama got really moving—Can this be done? Is it possible for a Good Man to be President, or does going through the sausage machine change one, one-way? Like McCain, to a certain extent, who is forever more unhinged and cranky for this experience. I think all the goodstuff inside Obama has been galvanized by this enormous campaign, or i hope it has. I hope he wins, but if he doesn’t it’s not because he did anything wrong. It’s because They couldn’t allow it. And They got W. elected—twice. And Ronald Reagan. and that’s at least ten trillion dollars of defense spending. That’s a lot of owed favours. So yes, i think it is possible that McCain win the election, but it would be the grizzliest affirmation of everything that is whispered about america, everything that is wrong about america... it would be cosmically devastating. And everyone on earth will feel its sick, heavy, hopeless truth: earth is an empire with no emperor and a secret senate. Shut up and eat your “corn.”

Q: And if Obama wins?
A: Something different. The opposite. Hope in the future. At least to 2012.

Q: Final question: is it possible that Sarah Palin is the antichrist? And she will beat President Obama for re-election Nov. xth, 2012 and then the world will end on Dec. 21, as prophesized by the mayans or inca or whomever?

A: As possible as McCain winning, I guess. Something has always rubbed me the wrong way about her...